By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Where do you turn when your children have been turned against you? Do you turn to drugs, alcohol, gambling or some other habit or perversion? Or, do you turn to therapy, meditation, God, your favorite hobby, or a new family? Or, do you simply wonder where to turn?
What’s a person to do when they have poured their very essence into the creation and development of offspring that is prohibited from authentically loving them freely without ridicule and punishment?
There are hundreds of thousands of these alienated parents across the globe. A keyword search shows 14,625 searches for the term “parental alienation” per month.
Where Do Alienated Parents Turn?
Most of these people hide out in private Facebook groups bashing the injustice and end up further igniting what ails them. Many do absolutely nothing because the weirdness of it all is beyond them.
What do you do? We (Partners in Prevention) have been helping both men and women of all walks of life drowning in the complexities of this predicament. If you want help that moves you forward rather than keeps you stuck, this article insight is for you.
Some Important Preliminary Suggestions
The first thing I recommend that you reflect on is the way in which you may be judging yourself through the eyes of the person (or people) tainted against you. It is natural to see yourself from the perspective of the one who has been groomed not to trust or respect you.
And then you try even harder to “be liked” or to “be well-received” only to discover that, through these efforts, you have groomed yourself into profound self-loathing.
Why? because over time, you come to see yourself as they are conditioned to perceive you…and the racket you are in becomes larger than you.
Let their perspective be theirs, and recognize that you are not the broken party. The ones with the internalized false story of who and what you are suffer damages beyond your comprehension.
Second, stop shaming yourself by judging your situation from the eyes of those without any relevant experience in these matters. The shame only augments the original source of judgment.
If you suspend judgment in these two areas, you will step onto a path of recovery from parental alienation. And from here, you can open the door to regaining your life again.
For more information about healing from parental alienation and domestic abuse, visit https://innersanctuaryonline.org for written and video insights, and https://preventabusiverelationships.com for individualized personal help.
© Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention