Sexual Coercion ~ Who Is Responsible for This Erection?

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Sexual coercion is something that many couples stumble upon. For some, awareness can lead to change and an improvement in the relationship. For others, once the topic enters into the conversation, the relationship is over.

The bottom line is that many men truly believe that when they have an erection, it’s her duty to do something about it. And if she doesn’t, he will guilt and shame her into compliance. I have seen these dynamics in couples of all ages from 20’s to 70’s.

The “Need” for Sexual Coercion

For example, let’s look at Jonathan and Melissa. They have known each other for decades and now with her in her 50’s and he in his 60’s, they strike up a romantic sexual relationship.

Johnathan comes to stay at Melissa’s home and they enjoy an evening out. Upon returning to the nest, they find themselves making out on the coach. Johnathan leaps out of the scene and Melissa assumes the party is over.

Within 30 minutes, Johnathan is fast asleep snoring so Melissa gets ready for bed assuming sleep is before her. Wrong assumption.

As she is settling into slumber, she is awakened in the middle of the night by Jonathan…so she thinks. What she doesn’t know is she’s really awakened…