Let’s Identify the Control in Our Abusive Relationship

Some people will read a popular book on abusive relationships and then insist that their partner is a domestic “abuser.” They see their partner in the description of signs of controlling relationships and from here draw their own conclusions.

These readers persist on a campaign to get their partner to recognize what they have come to believe. For those men guilty of using the B or C word, this can be done. And for those guilty of physical harm, sentencing may even begin.

These little families often come with two or three small children that serve as part of the glue that binds these couples together. In therapy, they struggle with which one is the “abuser.” The well-read one is convinced the other is the abuser. However, this alleged abusive person can come to the table without any power in the relationship.

Who Is in Control?

Take Ronda and Joey for example. Ronda read the popular abuse book currently on the market and now claims to have identified the essence of her marital problems. She insists that her partner is an “abuser.” Moreover, until he admits the same, this couple cannot progress forward.

She brings him to an abuse specialist and seeks to convince the therapist of her theory…her conviction. There are many therapists out there…