Legal Abuse — Does the System Not Work, or Do You Not Know How to Work the System?

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Battered women and uninformed bystanders frequently say that the system doesn’t work. While it may not be perfect, it most certainly works. The real problem is most people don’t know how to work the system.

Domestic abuse survivors go to divorce court expecting it to remedy abuse. Well, that’s like going to your gynecologist when you have a tooth ache. Your OBGYN is not trained in, nor equipped to, treat problems with your teeth.

And in the same way the divorce court is not the legal venue for mitigating domestic abuse. Now I realize you may not like hearing me say this, but the fact is that divorce court is there to help you and your partner divide the assets and establish who does what with your children. It is not the legal forum to arrest abuse.

If you have abuse in your family, it may be addressed in the context of your divorce, but in many cases not to your liking — unless you know how to work the system. Your first education about the process you are in or approaching must be: learn how the system works.

When I hear people say, “The system doesn’t work,” I think to myself, this person doesn’t know how to work the system. Here are a few things you will want to do as you…