How Boundaries, Berries and Bouncing Helped Me Heal from Domestic Abuse

by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

People worldwide repeatedly ask questions about how to heal after an abusive relationship. Sitting with that question, I’m reminded of the 3 B’s: Boundaries, Berries and Bouncing.

Boundaries Begin with Self Boundaries

We’ve all heard of the importance of cultivating clear boundaries to offset the dysfunctional dynamics of abusive relationships. Yet, many people convince themselves that this means learning to say “no” to other people. My belief is that it all begins with saying “yes” and saying “no” first to oneself.

We are with others as we are with ourselves. And we train others how to be with us by the way we are with them. Today is my birthday and I’m taking this day in silence so as to set my new year intentions from a platform of stillness within.

Now the commitment I made to myself for this day is that I’d only do things that support my being in a place of expanded well-being for the duration of the whole day.

Even I find it interesting that I would sit down to write in the context of that plan for today. It tells me that the writing part of this business is clearly the gem…the bloodline… It’s the part that keeps me alive in this Internet business.