Domestic Abuse Therapy ~ Will My Husband/Wife Change?

The most common question people in abusive relationships ask is, “Will my partner change?” I have been answering this question for decades and each time I sit with the answer, its meaning deepens. Today, I can answer that question in one word: SAFE. If patients master the elements of the acronym SAFE, the answer is yes!

SAFE ~ This one word speaks to the heart of effective psychotherapy for intimate partner abuse. When we refer to this word, we are talking about safety for both people in the relationship.

Staying safe is not a notion reserved for the abused, rather it is a status-quo sought by both domestic abuse victims and perpetrators/offenders. “Staying safe” from the potential damages of domestic violence becomes a daily commitment and a practiced way of being with oneself and with each other.

In so doing, these patients cultivate skills that support their individual well-being and the health of their relationship. And they do this through embodying the elements of the acronym SAFE.

S — Silence ~ Finding the silence within before picking up the offensive or defensive bat.

A — Accountability ~ Being responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions.