Domestic Abuse Healing — When Pain Becomes Purpose

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

The Foundation from Which I Stood

I was a sophomore in college struggling to find my place in the world. From the outside looking in, one would have thought I had it all. Straight A student; Dean’s List in graduate school; Valedictorian of gifted-children’s high school; Multiple state trophy Latin scholar throughout high school and junior high; Head-turning physical appearance (so they said); Voted most popular among my peers; Enjoyed a fulfilling sorority life with loads of campus fun; and Always had a steady boyfriend. I was in top physical shape as an avid swimmer with the foundation of a childhood gymnast. Yet, inside — while healthy and happy — I was alone and I knew there was more.

What I Really Wanted in Life

I wanted higher purpose and well-being independent of my accomplishments, and not attached to other people’s love, acceptance and appreciation. I wanted pure happiness not connected to anything someone could give or take away from me — just pure unadulterated well-being.

As an undergrad, I radiated well-being from the outside in, but inside I knew something larger was possible. I had a reputation in my family as being different…spacey, kind of out there. But, it was hard to bad mouth because I had been the most…