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By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

The Foundation from Which I Stood

I was a sophomore in college struggling to find my place in the world. From the outside looking in, one would have thought I had it all. Straight A student; Dean’s List in graduate school; Valedictorian of gifted-children’s high school; Multiple state trophy Latin scholar throughout high school and junior high; Head-turning physical appearance (so they said); Voted most popular among my peers; Enjoyed a fulfilling sorority life with loads of campus fun; and Always had a steady boyfriend. I was in top physical shape as an avid swimmer…


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By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

I once heard a famous actor tell the story of how he let go of his relationship with a sibling, using the analogy of “having to part with too many boots.”

Essentially, his message revealed how his involvement with this person, more often than not, netted him a walk in a pile of sh** so foul that he had to part with his boots. And after parting with so many pairs of boots, he decided to let go.

His analogy so clearly resonated with me. …


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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

I made this little meme not too long ago and every time I read it, I heal from the inside out. I’m reminded of what I have gained over what I have lost. And that thrills me beyond words.

I have been meditating since I was 20 years old and have maintained a regular daily sitting practice for my entire adult life. It is actually the most important part of my life.

When I met the man I had children with, I did everything I could to play it down because he didn’t like my…


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Simply Silenced

Why can’t we as a nation hear and have the input of Dr. Anthony Fauci on the pandemic? Because he could leak facts and insights about the transgressions in dealing with the pandemic of those preventing his speech, his testimony and his TV appearances.

As I write this question and answer, I’m reminded of the life of parents alienated from their abused children. Many of these parents are led to believe that their estrangement evolves out of something they deserve. And unfortunately, most buy that story and wear this hat for decades. Some take it to their grave.

Choked Truth


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By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

When you know the structure of silence, you hold the key to healing emotional abuse from within. Now this may sound simple or it may sound profound, depending on your relationship to being quiet within.

Knowing silence and being familiar with navigating its structure is like knowing any other cleansing process. For example, you know how to bathe your body. You know lathering up and rinsing off is part of cleansing.

The Structure of Silence

There is structure to silence as there is routine to bathing. The structure of silence is fluid and at the…


Making Unilateral Decisions Without Your Knowledge or Consent

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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

When your partner makes decisions that impact you without your knowledge or consent, he/she is basically acting on your behalf irrespective of your wishes. How do you feel about that?

If you don’t care that someone else is controlling some of your life choices and if the decisions made do not harm you, then it’s probably not a big deal. In fact, it could make life a little simpler because you don’t have to bother yourself with the details of things you don’t know or care to know. …


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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

The most common question people in abusive relationships ask is, “Will my partner change?” I have been answering this question for decades and each time I sit with the answer, its meaning deepens. Today, I can answer that question in one word: SAFE. If patients master the elements of the acronym SAFE, the answer is yes!

SAFE ~ This one word speaks to the heart of effective psychotherapy for intimate partner abuse. When we refer to this word, we are talking about safety for both people in the relationship.

Staying safe is not a notion…


How Victims Become Criminals
and Psychiatric Labels

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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

“Her partner (or ex) had her arrested or has backed her into a psychiatric hospital against her will.” Sound familiar?

It is sickening. If I told you how many times I heard this story, you’d run at the thought of being in an abusive relationship.

Turning the Tables — Abuser Flip

Abusers are notorious for calling the police or even convincing the police upon arrival that the domestic violence in process was inspired by the abused. They can be calm and collected in their communications with police. …


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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Sexual coercion is something that many couples stumble upon. For some, awareness can lead to change and an improvement in the relationship. For others, once the topic enters into the conversation, the relationship is over.

The bottom line is that many men truly believe that when they have an erection, it’s her duty to do something about it. And if she doesn’t, he will guilt and shame her into compliance. I have seen these dynamics in couples of all ages from 20’s to 70’s.

The “Need” for Sexual Coercion

For example, let’s look at Jonathan…


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by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

People worldwide repeatedly ask questions about how to heal after an abusive relationship. Sitting with that question, I’m reminded of the 3 B’s: Boundaries, Berries and Bouncing.

Boundaries Begin with Self Boundaries

We’ve all heard of the importance of cultivating clear boundaries to offset the dysfunctional dynamics of abusive relationships. Yet, many people convince themselves that this means learning to say “no” to other people. My belief is that it all begins with saying “yes” and saying “no” first to oneself.

We are with others as we are with ourselves. And we train others how…

Dr Jeanne King PhD

I help people break the cycle of domestic abuse and find wholeness, happiness and harmony. Psychologist, Author, Consultant http://www.InnerSanctuaryOnline.org

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